You can read all the books. Do all the healing. Know exactly what needs to change. And still feel stuck. I’ve been a therapist for over 20 years. After grief cracked everything open, I left the U.S. and began a nomadic journey through 25+ countries. I thought I was starting over, but the patterns I hadn’t faced kept following me. Eventually, running turned into listening. Grief became growth. What felt like hesitation revealed something deeper, a part of me that didn’t feel ready yet. Now I help people who are tired of hesitating, overthinking, or holding back. Not because they don’t know what to do, but because something deeper still needs tending. What I share here helped me move forward when I didn’t think I could. Maybe it will meet you there too.
3 must do’s to live authentically
When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be. When I let go of what I have, I receive what I need.
Lao Tzu
Hey Reader,
Have you ever said this to yourself?
“I don’t do that…” or “I can’t do that…” or “I’m too scared to do that…” or “I’m someone who…”
Whether it's our anxieties, depression, or fears speaking on our behalf, we've adeptly convinced ourselves of our limitations to the extent that we've become excessively identified with them—creating self-imposed boundaries.
When this becomes a dominant part of our identity, anything that may jeopardize that genuinely feels like a threat.
As a result, when faced with the prospect of change, we instinctively resist.
In my case, some things are deeply ingrained in my identity as a Haitian, as there were certain things Haitians supposedly don't do or must do in specific ways.
This made it difficult to pull away from the culture to form my own path.
Subsequently, as a mother, I believed I couldn't engage in certain activities out of fear of judgment and being labeled a bad parent.
Therefore, it took me a long time to make some bold moves.
Additionally, being Black, I felt compelled to engage in code-switching as a necessary part of life to identify with the struggles of the Black community, which led me to work through some massive rage.
I could go on and on.
But I say these things because the identities that we have attached ourselves to could be the same identities that are preventing our own expansions.
They act as barriers to us living authentic lives.
Recognizing and challenging these self-imposed identities marks the initial step toward liberating ourselves from their constraints.
Embracing authenticity entails unraveling these layers, questioning their validity, and granting ourselves the freedom to explore beyond preset identities.
It's a journey toward genuine self-discovery, realizing that true authenticity lies in embracing the dynamic and evolving nature of our identities.
I've identified three essential steps that can guide us towards living more authentic lives and shared them in this video.
My hope is that it sparks inspiration for you to embrace a truer version of yourself, moving closer to who you are rather than conforming to external expectations of who you’re “supposed to be.”
Feel free to respond to this email letting me know how you've moved beyond your self-imposed preset identities. (I respond to every email.)
Before You Go…
Here’s a photo of the ladies who attended our latest retreat—two came all the way from Norway!
These ladies faced loads of fears and anxieties, and I'm super proud of them because they didn't just tiptoe around their comfort zones; they boldly stepped right over their edge.
What makes this experience extra special is that it provides them with tangible reference points for conquering some of their greatest fears.
Remember the question I asked earlier?
“I don’t do that…” or “I can’t do that…” or “I’m too scared to do that…” or “I’m someone who…”
These ladies have looked beyond their attached identities of what they thought they could or couldn't do.
And now they know they can do hard and scary things.
Costa Rica is under consideration for our upcoming retreat, so stay tuned if you’re feeling called to attend one of our life-changing Plant Medicine Immersion retreats.
With Love Tribe,
Frantzces
Defying Resistance
You can read all the books. Do all the healing. Know exactly what needs to change. And still feel stuck. I’ve been a therapist for over 20 years. After grief cracked everything open, I left the U.S. and began a nomadic journey through 25+ countries. I thought I was starting over, but the patterns I hadn’t faced kept following me. Eventually, running turned into listening. Grief became growth. What felt like hesitation revealed something deeper, a part of me that didn’t feel ready yet. Now I help people who are tired of hesitating, overthinking, or holding back. Not because they don’t know what to do, but because something deeper still needs tending. What I share here helped me move forward when I didn’t think I could. Maybe it will meet you there too.
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