For a long time, I struggled to do the things I knew would help me move forward—much like knowing you should brush your teeth to avoid cavities, yet still not doing it consistently. I faced a weird paradox where resistance kept getting in my way, whether it was mentally, physically, spiritually, or emotionally. I would inch along, tackling life’s tasks here and there, but it took a long time to break free from that hold. I’m a clinical therapist and plant medicine integration coach. My journey began in 2013 when burnout forced me to reevaluate my life. After a spontaneous move to Thailand in 2016, everything changed. Traveling to 25+ countries, I’ve worked with seven shamans and mentored under another, gaining invaluable insights along the way. I provide one-on-one support, guide psychedelic journeys, and organize plant medicine retreats. Together, we’ll unlock everything within you that’s been locked away.
Rabindranath Tagor
Hey Reader,
When you embark on a healing journey, the idea is to, at least at some point, begin to feel better, right?
Well, that's what I thought.
I want to tell you about the time I met this Shaman in Bali. It was a bit of an adventure.
I'd almost given up on the idea of us ever connecting because I had left several messages without a callback.
But then, out of the blue, a British woman called me and gave me a specific timeframe to meet with him. I thought this was it.
I remember sitting in the courtyard of his Balinese home, just watching him smoke a cigarette.
When he asked me why I was there, I simply said, "I just want to feel better."
And that's when he hit me with the unexpected.
He told me that he couldn't make that happen because it wasn't in his hands.
I felt a bit deflated.
As my journey continued, it wasn't the smooth ride I'd hoped for. Instead of things getting better, they got more challenging.
There were moments where it felt like I was going backwards, and others where I was just stuck, not moving at all.
Doubts started to creep in.
I began to question whether all the effort I was putting into this healing journey was really worth it, especially when I wasn't seeing any immediate "results."
I'd initially thought the Shaman could fix everything, but that really wasn't how it worked.
And then, I had a lightbulb moment that changed everything.
It was at that moment I found myself trapped in what felt like the matrix's relentless programming, where we’re always asking, "What's in it for me?"
I mistakenly saw this journey as a transaction, thinking I should get something tangible in return for my "hard work."
In other words, I should be feeling "better" so this healing journey could end because I was doing all of the things.
But, I soon realized that that's not exactly how the evolution of one’s soul actually works.
I needed to unlearn that programming..
Eventually, with time and after some powerful lessons learned, I had another revelation.
This journey isn't about worthiness or immediate rewards.
Not one bit.
It's about growth and embracing new levels of consciousness which means embracing new levels of challenges.
I thought, if I felt caught up by the endless loop of healing, surely others would too.
So, I'm curious..
Have you ever found yourself questioning the worth of your own healing journey?
Meaning does it feel like it “shouldn’t” take this long or it “shouldn’t” be this hard?
I mean don’t get me wrong, it's entirely natural to wonder, "What am I gaining from all this work?"
After all, we're conditioned to expect instant gratification.
However, personal growth often requires a different set of footsteps and often zero expectations.
If this resonates with you and you’re feeling like this healing journey is starting to feel like an endless loop then this video: When Healing Feels Like an Endless Journey: A Reframe, might provide you with a powerful reframe that will help you to keep going.
Because in the end, it really is indeed worth every bit of the tears and frustration (and relief).
With Love Tribe,
Frantzces
For a long time, I struggled to do the things I knew would help me move forward—much like knowing you should brush your teeth to avoid cavities, yet still not doing it consistently. I faced a weird paradox where resistance kept getting in my way, whether it was mentally, physically, spiritually, or emotionally. I would inch along, tackling life’s tasks here and there, but it took a long time to break free from that hold. I’m a clinical therapist and plant medicine integration coach. My journey began in 2013 when burnout forced me to reevaluate my life. After a spontaneous move to Thailand in 2016, everything changed. Traveling to 25+ countries, I’ve worked with seven shamans and mentored under another, gaining invaluable insights along the way. I provide one-on-one support, guide psychedelic journeys, and organize plant medicine retreats. Together, we’ll unlock everything within you that’s been locked away.