There are things we keep saving for another day, forgetting that our days are the life.

Hey Reader,

I waited ten years to do something I could have done much sooner.

Tuesday was my birthday.

When my partner asked how I wanted to celebrate, I said I wanted to spend time at an elephant sanctuary.

I’ve been traveling to Thailand and living here at different times for the past decade.

And somehow, visiting a sanctuary had stayed on my list for just as long.

Every time I thought about it:

“One day I’m going to do that.”

This week, I finally did.

We spent the day feeding the elephants, making vitamin balls for them, helping cool them off with water, and learning from the mahouts who care for them.

I was in awe of the surroundings and how peaceful the elephants seemed.

Sharing it with my partner made it even more special.

And somewhere in the middle of it, I had this thought:

I waited ten years to feel this joy?

My inner child was having the best time.

And suddenly, ten years of saying “someday” felt very different.

Still, I could have had more days like this over those ten years.

The thing about “later”

Earlier today, I wrote on social media:

“‘Later’ can become a hiding place for the choices that ask us to live without knowing exactly how they’ll turn out.”

Sometimes “later” makes sense.

Reader, there are real limits on our time, money, and energy. Timing can make a difference.

But sometimes “later” becomes where we keep putting the life we say we want.

I’ve done this enough to recognize it in myself.

Sometimes I haven’t trusted myself to handle the outcome.

Other times, I’ve kept waiting for someone else.

And sometimes I’ve wanted something without ever making room for it.

What surprised me this week was that I’d been postponing something I expected to enjoy.

There wasn’t a difficult decision to make about seeing the elephants.

I’d just gotten used to saying I’d go someday.

We can get so focused on what waiting protects us from that we overlook what it keeps us from experiencing.

And sometimes we don’t realize the cost until enough time has passed to look back on it.

What regret can look like

Psychologists Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Medvec found that people tend to regret their actions more in the short term.

Over time, regret is more likely to center on the things they never did.

That doesn’t mean every delay becomes a regret.

It does mean not deciding doesn’t automatically protect us from one.

I’ve rushed decisions before and had to deal with outcomes I didn’t want.

I’ve also waited for a certain amount of confidence that never came.

I don’t think rushing is the answer.

But I’ve built trust in myself by following through and finding out what I can handle.

Uncertainty comes with making choices. But it also comes with putting them off.

What have you been putting off?

My partner and I have decided to spend a month doing things we’ve been saying we’d do.

I don’t want another birthday to be the first time I make room for something I’ve wanted for years.

So, what have you been putting off until “later”?

Choose one thing.

Consider what’s actually keeping it on hold and whether waiting is still useful.

If there’s a practical obstacle, what’s one step you can take toward addressing it?

If there isn’t, what could you do this week to get started?

Hit reply and tell me what you’ll do this week. I’d love to hear.

PS: If you keep saying “later” to the same thing and can’t quite figure out why, my free What’s Your Resistance Style Quiz can show you what tends to happen right before you put it off again.

Talk soon.

With gratitude,

Frantzces